UPDATED! General Mills, You Have My Heart

In which our resident Chex enthusiast hears back from General Mills.

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UPDATED! General Mills, You Have My Heart

The author poses with her Chex swag.

The author poses with her Chex swag.

The author poses with her Chex swag.

The author poses with her Chex swag.

Elizabeth Kilgore

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While contemplating over a bowl of cereal, I decided to write this letter to the top twelve executives at General Mills…

 

Dear General Mills,

My name is Elizabeth Kilgore and I am an avid Chex™ enthusiast.  

As I type this letter in between spoonfuls of Cinnamon Chex™, I am reminded of the incredible versatility of each Check, the singular form of Chex™ which I have taken upon myself to designate.  As though hand-woven by little elves, each Check is permeated by the swift flow of milk, yet is slow to succumb to the liquid’s soggy-ing forces.  Often as the clock nears midnight on evenings when I have been kept awake by the nullifying forces of hunger and boredom, I find myself walking cadaverously toward the pantry and reaching for one of the boxes of Chex™ with which my cereal shelf is unwaveringly stocked.

When I roam the fluorescently-lit cereal aisle of the grocery store with my waiting mother nearby, I hold the power of choice within my hands.  Standing before me are eight delicious flavors, seven of which boast their satisfaction of my gluten free needs in bold letters on their boxes.  Each angelic box seems to call my name, but my instincts draw me to the same overdyed crimson box every time- Cinnamon Chex™.

No teenager loves Chex™ cereal more than I.  It is out of that love that I seek redress of the only fault that I have found in any Chex™ product in my lengthy seventeen years on this planet.  In Cinnamon Chex™, the ratio of cinnamon-sugar coated chex to non-coated chex is disturbingly even.  Frankly, if I wanted a more conservative flavor, I would buy Rice Chex™.  Don’t get me wrong- I love rice.  But when it comes to cereal, I fancy a more liberal taste.

I write to you, General Mills, because I know that you have the potential to do better.  I have but one request of you, my friend (I consider us friends).  Reduce the number of plain Chex™ in Cinnamon Chex™.  I assure you that such a change not only will increase sales, but will amplify customer satisfaction.  How do I know this?  I just know.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

Respectfully,

Elizabeth Kilgore

 

******[fast forward two months]******

 

Needless to say, I was not disappointed with the response I received.

 

Dear Ms. Kilgore,

We would like to thank you dearly for being such an avid Chex enthusiast. As we write this letter back to you and think about your passion for each Check, it is important to us that we show you our appreciation. We would like to present you with your very own, personalized, Cinnamon Chex cereal box (and of course a few other boxes to help satisfy your cravings!).

When you begin to feel hungry, whether in the early morning or late at night, we hope you find these particular boxes of Check in your pantry to be enticing and satisfying.

We were so inspired by your eloquent letter, we wanted to also present you with a customized journal so you can continue to document your love of Chex.

Thank you, again, for your continued Chex admiration!

Yours Truly,

Team Chex

 

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